


Caffeine

by booklover22



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Good Brother, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Hurt/Comfort, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26729227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booklover22/pseuds/booklover22
Summary: Songfic sorta? (Inspired by a song anyway)Logan Logic Sanders is bad at feelings and unintentionally hurts his friend. He has to admit his feelings or things will never be the same and he may lose something very dear to him. Can he do it? (Yes, but its painful.)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Kudos: 28





	Caffeine

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a song I thought would fit Intrulogical perfectly and I had to immediately write it or I would forget it. The song is called Caffeine by Fly By Midnight
> 
> (Wow this is not phone friendly I am so sorry)

Logan was at his desk, laptop open but he wasn’t focused on it. He had come to a startling and scary realization the day before when he had been sitting in the kitchen watching as Roman and Remus bickered over ideas for Thomas to use. He had watched as Remus poured unholy amounts of what looked like raspberry flavored syrup (at least he thinks it was syrup it had the consistency of syrup and the color of raspberries..) onto his bacon and eggs. He had happened to glance over at Remus and Remus had looked at him, smiled a quick flash before pulling him into the debate of ideas. When he had finished Remus’s smile was blinding and he had felt something stir in his chest. He had ignored it at the time but later that night it had happened again, again caused by Remus. His heart fluttered when Remus smiled at him a quick bright thing like the flash of a camera before turning back to whomever he was talking to. He quickly excused himself and all but ran to his room. Logan prided himself on not having feelings, at least that’s what he told everyone else. Logan _did_ have feelings, he just didn’t like them. But he had never had these feelings before. He had felt them of course, whenever Thomas had a crush or was in a relationship so he knew what they were but he personally had never had them before. Before Janus and Remus were accepted he hadn’t thought that he ever would have these feelings. Virgil and Roman had gotten together fairly quickly and Patton was more of a brother to him, and he had never seen him in a romantic sense. He just thought he didn’t have enough emotion to have romantic feelings, but what he felt just now had ruined all of that and now he had a problem. Logan didn’t _want_ romantic feelings. Hell, he didn’t want feelings at all, and he tried his best to repress them. But these unwanted things that affected Logan more than he liked to admit were persistent. He didn’t know how to deal with them. He thought back, trying to pinpoint the exact moment these feelings started and could only think of the amount of time hes been spending with the embodiment of intrusive thoughts. He had never had a problem with Remus, and sometimes sought him out for conversations, but once he was accepted he had started talking to him more, spending more and more time with him and his feelings had apparently grown from there. Maybe if he didn’t spend as much time with Remus as he did the feelings would go away? It was a stretch but it was all he could think of. So with a plan in mind he shut down his computer and went to bed.

Off in the imagination, Remus smiled to himself as he created stars and galaxies. He knew he had a crush on the resident nerd and he was really hoping that Logan liked him back, but he would wait for now and just enjoy his company as friends. He had always liked the nerd, when he had been a “Dark” side Logan was the only “Light” side who had tolerated him. Roman had come around, wanting to mend their broken bond but even he could get fed up with Remus’s constant chatter and rapid thought process. Logan never did, he always kept pace with Remus, always had. And he never shied away when topics took a darker turn. He rolled with the waves and explained, expanded upon, or dismembered the thoughts Remus couldn’t control and couldn’t filter and was never disgusted by them. He listened to Remus in a way none of the others ever had. Even Janus had to stop him sometimes, the thoughts Remus spewed disturbing the deceitful side. But now that he was accepted, he had been spending more and more time with Logan and he was loving every minute of it! He pulled him into debates or just talked to him for hours and never got bored listening to him ramble about whatever was on his mind. He was cute the way he lit up whenever Remus asked him to explain or elaborate on whatever topic he was talking about. Remus flung the last of the stars into the sky and sunk into his room ready for a good rest. He had a million things he wanted to ask Logan about space, one of his special interests he found out last week and he also wanted to show him what he made tonight. Sleep took him quickly, a smile on his face.

The next morning Remus eagerly waited for Logan to come to breakfast, he wanted to show him a new recipe he had found and wanted to get Logan’s input on the best way to get Thomathy to make it for the Halloween party he was planning. But as the hour dragged by and Logan still hadn’t come down for breakfast, which was weird and slightly alarming as he almost never changed his schedule, Remus got worried. He decided to check on Logan and see if he was sick or something and quickly made his way upstairs to Logan’s room. He knocked on the door, if a bit too fast and waited as patiently as he could until he heard Logan call a quiet “Come in.” He swung the door open, unintentionally slamming it against the wall and cringing slightly before bounding into the room. He looked around, he had been in Logan’s room before, he had been in everyone’s room before when he wasn’t accepted. He was always trying to spook everyone and catch them off guard, but Logan usually ignored him. With his acceptance his intrusive thoughts had calmed some, and he wasn’t as well, intrusive, as he used to be. He was still loud, he was still as hyperactive as ever and he still lacked a filter most days. But he was getting better, and he was trying to be better for Thomas. He stood in the middle of Logan’s room, closing the door with a snap of his fingers as he watched his crush type away on his laptop. He frowned when Logan didn’t turn to greet him but he shrugged and walked over to the Logical side’s desk.

“Watcha workin’ on Logie Bear?” He asked leaning over Logan and plopping his head onto his shoulder. He felt Logan freeze up, though he didn’t stop typing, which was weird. He hadn’t done that since they were teens, so he immediately pulled his head away and took a step back. Maybe he’s just stressed? He waiting as he watched Logan turn around and fix his glasses, a tick he had noticed he did whenever he was thinking. “Hello Remus.” He said it with none of the warmth that Remus had become accustomed to in the recent months and he was taken aback by it, but before he could even begin processing that he was interrupted. “To answer your question, I am working on fixing Thomas’s schedule for next week. Since yourself and Roman have been pulling him into the Imagination more often he has been neglecting his real-world duties like laundry, washing the dishes, and a multitude of other things. Hopefully, you can convince Roman to keep a clear schedule next week. I am asking you to as well, though I know it will be hard “When Creativity strikes” as the saying goes but please try and withhold in for at least this next week. I have the weekend open for him if you and your brother do have any urges.” Remus stood there, his mouth slightly agape as Logan finally looked him in the eyes. Remus blinked a few times before nodding voice subdued as he responded “Sure Lo, I’ll- I’ll try. And I’ll tell Roman too give him a heads up!” He smiled though it felt forced and quickly left the room. When Logan had looked at him, it was as if they hadn’t been spending these last few months together, He was closed up again, the strict no-nonsense mask he wore around everyone but him was... back up. What had happened? Remus felt a tightness in his chest, but he took a few deep breaths and decided that Logan was just having a bad day. He and Roman _have_ been hogging a majority of Thomas’s time this past week. Because they were allowed to work together again, they had been on fire giving Thomas amazing ideas and flying through the imagination fighting Gloria (the Dragonwitch) and her hordes of armies and other adventures. He shrugged off his bad thoughts and quickly went to find RoRo to tell him about Logan’s plan for the next week.

Logan sighed as Remus left the room. He rubbed his eyes and slumped in his seat as he tried to ignore the warmth of where Remus’s head had laid on his shoulder. How had he not noticed that he liked Remus in a romantic way? How had he let himself get so comfortable that he had let his _feelings_ creep in and take hold of his heart? He sighed and turned back to his desk glancing at the picture he had there. It was about a week after Janus and Remus had been accepted that Thomas insisted they took this photo, all of the sides plus Thomas in the middle. Virgil was sitting on Roman’s lap; Patton was leaning into two pairs of Janus’s arms and Remus had his arm thrown around Logan’s shoulders head thrown back as the others looked at him with varying degrees of disgust and embarrassment. Logan chuckled as he remembered the filthy joke Remus had told to get that reaction, and then he sighed as his eyes lingered on Remus’s form. He felt the ghost warmth of that arm thrown over his shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut. This was for the best. He was Logic, he didn’t have feelings, or at least he shouldn’t. And besides even if he admitted to liking him, Remus would never reciprocate his feelings. So he rubbed his eyes, fixed his tied and went back to work. He had noticed that Remus had seemed off this morning, but he brushed it off and tried to focus on his work.

It had been three weeks, and everyone knew something was up with Logan and Remus. Logan had been acting a little too normal almost cold in his dealings with the others and Remus had been holed up in his room most of the time, and when he wasn’t in his room he kept to the imagination and only talked to Roman. Every time he was within viewing distance of Logan, he shot him wounded looks before leaving the room. The four sides decided to get to the bottom of this and set a meeting time aside for later that night after subtly observing the other two. After dinner that night Janus, Patton, Roman, and Virgil met up in Janus’s room to discuss their observations of the day. Roman sighed before starting. “Remus has been acting odd these last few weeks as everyone knows. I tried to talk to him about why he seemed so down but all he did was yell ‘Fuck off bro’ before hitting me over the head with his morning star and running off into the woods.” He rubbed his head, presumably where Remus had hit him but there was no longer any wounds or lesions on his head that showed the damage. Virgil pulled him into a sideways hug and kissed his cheek. Janus glanced at Patton. Patton sighed and started fiddling with his hoodie sleeves. “Logan looked was pretty out of it. He had about 10 empty coffee cups on his desk and he was all disheveled and when I asked how he was doing he said ‘fine.’ But I don’t think he's doing fine guys.” He said as he looked around the room. Janus nodded as Patton’s gaze landed on him. “I heard his lie about being fine, but I couldn’t pinpoint why exactly he wasn’t fine.” Virgil sighed as he leaned into Roman’s side. “I could feel both Logan and Remus’s anxiety spike when you asked them but it was more of a general anxiety nothing I could pinpoint.” They all looked at each other helplessly until Roman stood up. “I’m going to see my brother and figure this out I don’t care if I have to tie him to a chair!” He stormed off before the others could even think to stop him and they all hoped he could get through to Remus.

Remus was laying sprawled out like a starfish on his bed, humming a song he had heard as Thomas was scrolling through Instagram. His intrusive thoughts had been getting bad again without Logan there to counteract and break them down for him and he was starting to lose his head again. He could feel himself losing his already loose grip on reality every day that passed and he didn’t want anybody to think he was going back to how he was before he was accepted so he tried to stay in his room as much as possible and smash out the intrusive thoughts he had in the Imagination whenever he could. His head was swirling right now as Roman had interrupted him before he had a chance to create and then promptly destroy the thoughts so he was now laying in his room everything smashed to bits and chest hurting as he thought of why Logan would’ve cut him off. He was _trying_ to be good! He was trying his damn hardest but Logan had been helping him so much so the sudden cut had him dizzy for more than one reason. The only thing he could think that happened was that Logan had found out about his crush and decided to stop interacting with him. The painful thought as well as the others clouding his mind brought him to tears and he didn’t even notice Roman barge into the room until he was being hugged by him. He let himself cry as he was pulled into a warm embrace and his thoughts finally started to calm down. “Oh Rem, tell me what’s wrong?” He heard his brother whisper and he struggled his way through stuttering sobs as he told Roman that he had had a crush on Logan and he must have found out about it because Logan had started pushing him away three weeks ago and his thoughts were getting worse without him because his logic dismantled them and and-

Remus was cut off as Roman squeezed him again and told him he would handle it. Remus nodded and laid back down on his bed as his room playing the damn song he had stuck in his head and only making him cry harder.

_“Vacant head in this empty bed yeah I think I’m losing it, I’m pretty sure I’m losing it. It’s messed up nice that you’re my vice and I keep on using it, it’s probably why I’m losing it. Thinking in circles when we’re not together and fighting it won’t make it better…”_

Remus cried into his pillow as the song continued and eventually played on a loop, and Roman got ready for a fight.

Roman barged into Logan’s room slamming the door open and sword pointed at the Logical side who was more than shocked to say the least. Not that he showed it. “Roman, what can I help you with?” he asked as he turned to face the creative side. He had been holed up in his room for the better part of the last three weeks only going out for necessity but those time he had seen Remus had his heart racing with unwanted and useless feelings. “Remus is distraught and is declining in health mentally because of whatever you did Microsoft Turd, so I suggest you apologize and at least have the courtesy to keep a professional relationship with him!” He said vehemently and Logan was, well more than confused. “Roman, please elaborate I have no idea what you are talking about and I haven’t even seen Remus for more than a few seconds these past few weeks so I couldn’t have done anything to him.” Roman paused and seemed to think about something before abruptly sheathing his sword and pulling Patton into the room. Logan looked on as Roman whispered something into Patton’s ear, who then looked over at Logan for a brief second eyes wide before he closed them and seemed to concentrate. His eyes flew open and he nodded to roman who sighed and rubbed his face roughly. “Thank you Padre, I’ll handle it from here.” Was all Logan heard before he was once again alone with the Creative side. Roman took a deep breath before looking at Logan, disheveled and downright messy, eyes bloodshot and hair a mess. He walked closer to Logan who warily accepted this quiet scrutiny. “You’re in love with Remus.” It was a statement not a question, but Logan tried to deny it anyway. “While I love Remus in a platonic sense, I am not in fact in love with him as you say. I cannot fall in love, I am Logic.” The words burned his throat as he stared down Roman who plopped onto his bed similarly to the way Remus used to do. “Specs, if you forgot, which I am sure you did with the amount of caffeine running through your body at the moment, I am _not_ just creativity. I could sense something was off between you and Rem, but I couldn’t place it until I asked Patton a question. A simple question. Do you know what that question is?” Roman studied Logan as he thought through what he could have possibly asked Patton, nothing he could think of and yet he had started to panic slightly. He shook his head and looked to Roman who sighed. “You really are out of it aren’t you Lo? I asked Patton if he could sense love coming from you, and when he confirmed that he could it clicked. You’re in love with Remus. You have romantic feelings for him.” Logan stared at Roman with panic in his eyes. He was found out. “Please do not tell Remus.” He finally whispered hands running through his already messy hair. He couldn’t look Roman in the eyes.

“Logan look at me please.” He heard a soft voice request and he looked up at Roman who had moved closer. He put a hand on Logan’s shoulder and squeezed it slightly. “Why are you trying to deny your feelings? Just because you’re logic doesn’t mean you cant have feelings or fall in love with anyone. You aren’t just Logic, you’re also Logan. The nerd who geeks out over space and loves crofters and so many other things. You can have these feelings.” Logan was trying his best not to tear up but there were unshed tears in his eyes as he listened to what Roman was saying. “But how can I be logic if I have feelings? Feelings are illogical and messy and- and-“ Roman squeezed his shoulder again and Logan looked up into his eyes. “Feelings are a part of being Human teach. You may embody logic, but you are a part of a human and that means that you also can have these feelings. If you didn’t have these feelings that would make you a robot and you are not a robot, no matter how hard you try to be one.” Logan closed his eyes fighting the tears that wanted to escape. “Even if I _do_ have feelings for Remus, he doesn’t return them. How am I supposed to face him?” he asked, his voice cracking. Roman sighed. “Logan, I know for a fact that Remus likes you back. I didn’t need Patton to tell me, he told me himself. It’s why I came here in the first place. I was gonna fight you for hurting my brother but by the way you looked I had a feeling you were hurting as much as he was. You need to go talk to him Lo. He’s been doing so good with you but when you cut him off everything started spiraling for him. He thinks you hate him for having feelings for you.” Logan looked at roman in disbelief, that couldn’t be right but then, thinking back on the few seconds he had seen Remus these past weeks he had seemed to be sad. Oh no. “I messed up didn’t I?” Roman chuckled and stepped away from his friend, “You should go talk to him Lo. I think it’ll work out in the end.” Logan nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes before straightening his tie. “Thank you Roman.” He said before sinking out. Roman chuckled and left the room to go tell the others that everything was gonna be fine.

Logan rose outside of Remus’s door, about to knock when he heard crying. He quickly sunk into the Creative side’s room only to be met by a song being played loudly, permeating the room and intruding his thoughts.

 _“Bloodshot eyes, no I can’t focus since I let you in. Ever since I let you in. Every high, like a crashing ocean its been sinking in, ever since I let you in”_ The lyrics pulled at a chord in his chest as he listened to more of the words. _“Thinking in circles when we’re not together, If I let you go I’ll be better. I don’t know what I’m chasing, I’m smoking, I’m pacing hours go by like forever, now I’m like-“_ He walked further into the room looking for Remus and finally spotted him on top of a broken bed face in the blankets and shoulders shaking. The song continued. _“I want you, it’s way too late, I’m restless, I’m wide awake. Every time I lay down I can’t sleep, you’re keeping me up like caffeine.”_ Logan walked closer to Remus and gently touched his shoulder. Remus startled and sat up makeup smudged and eyes red and puffy as he looked into Logan’s eyes. “Remus, please stop the music. We need to talk.” Remus scrunched up his face but the music only got louder. “Ah,” Logan muttered before waving his hand and stopping the music. “I’m sorry the song was s-stuck in my head and I c-couldn’t get it out a-and the harder I tried the louder it got.” He said, stuttering through hiccups his voice raw. Logan tentatively sat down next to Remus on the bed and watched as Remus scoot over but didn’t look at him. “Anyways, what did you need Logie Bear?” he asked trying to sound like his normal self but Logan could hear the pain under his weak façade. Logan reached out for Remus’s hand, slow enough that he could pull away if he wanted to, Logan was happy he didn’t. “I wanted to apologize for how I’ve been acting these past few weeks. I… well I had come to some startling conclusions and decided to try and ignore them but all I did was end up hurting the both of us.” Remus finally looked towards Logan and the hope and pain in his eyes made Logan _ache_ he hadn’t meant to cause Remus any pain, hadn’t known he had the power to but this look flayed him and he knew that he had. He took a deep breath before continuing. “I had come to the conclusion that I had romantic feelings toward you, but in my hasty decision that I shouldn’t have these feelings I hadn’t taken into consideration the thought that you might feel them as well. I was trying to avoid you so I could stop my feelings from growing, not because I knew you had feelings I did not reciprocate. And I am so sorry for hurting you Remus.”

Remus had fresh tears streaming down his face and he launched himself at Logan. “I thought all those thoughts were about how you couldn’t like _me_ not that you thought you couldn’t like anyone in general!” he exclaimed as he hung onto Logan’s neck head pressed into his neck. Logan was confused for a moment before he remembered that Remus embodied intrusive thoughts as well as creativity. He knew everyone’s intrusive thoughts and fears, and he was able to take them away from the others so the thoughts didn’t affect them, but that meant he was stuck with them looping in his mind until either Logan helped him dismantle them or he killed them enough times. Glancing around the room he realized he hadn’t been able to kill the thoughts yet. Logan hugged Remus a little tighter rubbing soothing circles on his back as he let Remus cry, whispering soothing words into his ear. Eventually Remus calmed down and sat back to look at Logan. He sniffed before asking, “So, you have feelings for me Lolo?” He smiled a watery smile but the question was genuine. “Yes.” Logan replied nodding his head in affirmation. Remus squealed and did a whole body wiggle “I like you too Logan.” He said excitement growing with every word. They would have to talk more but both were exhausted so Logan took Remus’s hand and brought him to his room, changing their clothes with a snap and ushered Remus into bed with him. Remus sighed contently as he cuddled with the logical side. “Thank you.” He whispered and Logan smiled and pulled Remus closer. “You have nothing to be thankful for Remus. Thank you, for putting up with me being irrational.” Remus chuckled softly and tilted his head far enough back to softly kiss Logan’s chin. “Not very logical of you Lo,” he giggled quietly and Logan couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as well. “No, it wasn’t. Now sleep cephy, we can talk more in the morning.” He felt Remus freeze for a second before he wiggled happily “I like that name, Cephy. It fits.” Remus manifested his tentacles and took off Logan’s glasses placing them on the bedside table and turning off the lamp before retracting them. Logan was shocked, but exhaustion was taking over. “Remind me to ask you about those when we wake up.” He whispered and felt a nod as he drifted off.

Six months later

Logan sat at his desk his laptop open in front of him, but he was just staring at its black screen. He was tired but he had to finish this schedule for Thomas or else he wouldn’t be prepared for the next week of editing and filming. Logan rubbed his bloodshot eyes glasses discarded on the desktop next to the sleeping computer. He startled when he felt arms hug him from behind before he remembered that Remus was in his room with him. “Come to bed Lolo you can do this in the morning.” He whispered, the start of a whine in his voice. Logan leaned his head against Remus’s arm for a few moments before sitting up and sighing. “Remus, I _can’t_ I have to finish this tonight or else Thomas is going to be set back for days when he needs to be editing and re-filming. I’ll come to bed as soon as I am finished, I promise.” He looked to his boyfriend who had sat on the edge of the bed waiting for whatever it was Logan was going to say, He ran his fingers through his hair and nodded flopping backwards like a starfish. Logan looked at him for a few seconds, a small smile on his face before he yawned. He needed coffee. He stood up and after giving Remus’s leg a squeeze he left his room and went downstairs. Dating Remus was like nothing he had ever imagined, and yet it was everything he wanted, He smiled again as he thought of his boyfriend. He was a handful sometimes, but he loved him with everything he was. Sometimes, before he and Remus got together he had felt like he was in a vast ocean, untouchable and unfeeling but then he let Remus into his life and suddenly he felt as though he had surfaced the ocean, gasping for breath he hadn’t known he needed. He hadn’t always liked the feeling.

When he had first realized he had _feelings_ for the Duke he had thrown himself into his work ignoring his feelings and avoiding the ~~attractive~~ creative side which was hard considering he had finally been accepted and now resided alongside the rest of them the “dark commons” merged with the light and now they lived with nice shades of grey instead of blinding white or encompassing black. He spent way too long and many, many caffeine fueled nights working on anything and everything that had crossed his desk. But no matter what he did or didn’t do he couldn’t get Remus out of his head. Thoughts circled back to their scant interactions and his heart rate increased every time he seen the creative side but he refused to act on his _feelings_. He was Logic and logic didn’t have things like feelings ~~(except when he did)~~. It all came to a head when Roman had barged into his room one day demanding he apologize for whatever he had done to his brother. Logan hadn’t realized that Remus had returned his hidden feelings, or that it was affecting his creativity as well as Thomas. It had taken a while for Roman to convince Logan that Remus cared about him too, Logan had been repressing his feelings for a while not to mention his feelings for Remus, but eventually he was able to confront Remus and admit his feelings. He had never been so scared or so happy than the day they got together. He walked into his room, mug of coffee held tightly and glanced lovingly at his boyfriend. He looked at the time 3:35, before looking back at the bed. Remus looked so prone and exposed when he slept. He sighed and set his coffee onto the desk next to his laptop before shutting it down. He snapped his fingers and was in his pajamas which consisted of a worn Nasa shirt and some dark grey sweats. He took off his glasses and lay next to Remus who immediately turned around and snugged up to him, head under his chin and hands gripping his shirt. He chuckled softly. “You win my little octopus. I hope you’re happy.” Remus sighed into his chest and smiled before leaning up to kiss Logan's chin. “I am.” He responded softly snuggling closer. Logan kissed the top of his head and squeezed Remus. “I’m glad I let you in.” he whispered softly as he finally drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Are you surprised to see me making a one-shot for a completely different fandom? You honestly shouldn't be, but if you are do not fret! I am not giving up on my other works i have just been super busy lately. Helping my grandma pack her house up and move, looking for jobs, and plain old disassociating but I will continue my other works I just had a very big bout of inspiration when I heard this song and needed to write it. I am also doing Inktober again so i will be pretty busy this month, so if you want to see that my IG is right here -----> https://www.instagram.com/alliechaps_does_art/  
> It is where I am most active other than my tumblr which is right here -----> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/booklover223  
> You can message me in either of those places and I'll try to respond as soon as possible! Just tell me that you came from AO3 to yell at me lol


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